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Review The Remains (2016): A very good remedy against insomnia!

genre: horror

Don't be stubborn like I was. Meaning don't ignore the general criticism towards this film. It is seriously deserving of it. 

Now I do have to say that the production values of this film did fool me for a while. Until it bored me to death and I fell asleep after 15 minutes or so. I am not kidding. This movie is so painfully slow and agonizing that you have no choice but to shut your eyes and dream of a better horror movie. Problem with The Remains it tries real hard to mimic better horror flicks like Insidious and The Conjuring. And they only manage to do that visually without adding the tension and dread that is needed. The ghosts or demons in this film are hardly scary. The Parker Crane (Insidious) wannabe only will make you laugh. Maria Olsen who plays Madame Addison hams it up the minute she appears on the screen. And she never lets up. Now some actors might get away with that. Unfortunately Olsen doesn't. I simply could not take her seriously. Strangest thing though even when she is obviously bad and fails to do what she needs to do she still is the best the film has to offer. Just let that sink in for a moment. Next to that not a whole lot happens in the film. I fell asleep but when I finally woke up I discovered that I had not missed anything essential. I think I must have slept for twenty or thirty minutes at least. Did I bother to watch the moments I missed? No, I asked my friend who was fully awake all this time and said I only missed one important scene. And you know what after hearing what I missed it dawned on me that The Remains also borrowed a little from Sinister. That was enough for me to not give a damn and give up on this film. If you are going to borrow then at least do something creative with it and surprise the viewer. 

The Remains does nothing remotely original or creative to entertain. It even fails to rehash established horror clich├ęs properly which would have been very welcome. There is absolutely nothing in this film that warrants a view unless you are looking for a remedy against insomnia. The Remains is perfect for that.

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