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Review The Last Witch Hunter (2015): Let us hope this is the last. / You know nothing Vin Diesel!

genre: fantasy, adventure, action

It took me some time to digest and process the pointlessness of The Last Witch Hunter. Or rather to find good things about this movie that would make it worth your while. And honestly I can't think of a single good reason.

You know I think I would have enjoyed this a whole lot more if it had not been a big budget Hollywood production. If this had been a bad B movie where everything that was lacking money wise would have been replaced by creativity and passion. There is none to be found. Most of the cast sleepwalk through their roles and don't even try to make the most of it. Elijah Wood looks bored throughout and displays some of the worst acting ever. Often it seemed like he was not even aware the camera was already rolling. Michael Caine's role is nothing more than a glorified cameo and he provides the only and funniest scene of the whole damn movie. I feel very sorry for Rose Leslie as she was probably the only one trying to give us a good show. But of course she alone can't make up for the lack of cooperation and good film making. Sure if you are easily pleased there are some neat effects. Only you forget about them as they fail to make any impact whatsoever because no compelling context is given to make any of it exciting. Remember Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark. I am talking about the first scene where the traps have been triggered and Indy has to run for his life. That scene still is incredibly exciting because it is made sure that you know what dangers lie ahead because of the way it is build up and how Harrison Ford expresses himself. Those special effects compared to now are almost laughable but they are so much more believable than the CGI used in the Last Witch Hunter. In Indiana Jones everything is done to make the events have some kind of impact. Here you get presented with some nice eye candy that never once captivates or mesmerizes. And I blame director Breck Eisner for this. He has no idea or vision what he should do with the material. He takes it far too seriously. In itself that is not always a bad thing. But you do have to sell it to us. If these witches are so scary then you have to show us why they are. Same goes for Vin's character. He is supposedly quirky and badass. I have never seen Vin Diesel so soft and relaxed. He was like a pussy cat and it felt like he was rather hugging and kissing people than slaying witches and warlocks. Then there is the total lack of a coherent and compelling story. I read that the writers behind Priest and Dracula Untold are responsible for the poor script and that news truly astonishes me. While Priest also had an incredible poor script it did offer some truly menacing vampires. Dracula Untold sort of managed to add a fresh take on Dracula. So it surprises me that these writers could not do the same with this film. There aren't that many movies about witch hunters. Last one was that Hansel & Gretel one with  Jeremy Renner which rocked BTW.

I know I wasted a lot of words on this review and it certainly does not deserve as much but I am so disappointed. I did not expect much but to even then let me down in my opinion is criminal. Never ever watch this. It does not deserve an audience whatsoever. 

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