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Review Assault on VA-33 (2021): Die Hard in a hospital!

genre: die hard clone, action, thriller

As with many trailers they make the films look better than they are. In this case it almost feels like a con job. Naturally I wasn't expecting this to be anything other than bad. But I hoped it would have been the so bad it's good kind. Unfortunately this is not the case. Not only is this bad it's incredibly insulting.

Now I am not the biggest fan of US military. However I don't think they are a joke as much as they are portrayed in this film.This Die Hard wannabe takes plays in a VA hospital and has many military veterans as patients. Granted they are there for a reason but to have them acts as total lunatics and imbeciles is just unbelievable. Example. So like halfway in the film the terrorists had discovered someone (Sean Patrick Flannery in the John McClane role) to have escaped. Their response it to put C4 explosives on every exit so no one can go in and out without dying. Why they didn't do this in the first place is beyond me. But ok whatever. One of the veterans played by Rachel True most famous for her role in The Craft gets a chance to flee. Right before she wants to go out one of the exits Jason Hill (Sean Patrick Flannery) warns her. Even the terrorist chasing her tells her this. Rachel's character looks at the door, sees the explosives, opens the door anyway. Why? Am I supposed to believe that she was so shell shocked that she couldn't believe her own eyes? Let's say she really had the worst kind of PTSD and she would have been erratic and paranoid would she then not have run away from the door as well? Ok, I am not claiming to be an expert. But if someone is well enough to crack jokes and waltz in and out of the hospital without supervision and constraints I assume you aren't stupid. Most of the other veterans responded like people who never had seen combat. Veterans who suffer PTSD might not be who they were originally I would like to think that in situations like this their instincts would kick in and put up more of a fight. Perhaps one could argue about PTSD and how people react in situations like these. I for one thought it was stupid and aggravating. 

But what is even more egregious is the fact that both Michael Jai White and Mark Dacascos are nothing but glorified cameos. White has more to do than Dacascos since he plays the supporting cop from the original Die Hard. Or should I say mostly nonsupporting cop since he refuses to take any call or warning regarding the assault seriously. I found myself yelling at the scream since White's character really didn't want to do anything and ultimately barely does something. Mark Dacascos is in this even shorter. I guess he is one of the most elite super assassins. Only the way he is announced and how he appears it's like he is one of the lower stooges. You know he might never have been a super star he is very high up in the B rankings and for him to be treated like this it's just pathetic. Not recognizing the talent you have and not making use of them to their full potential is criminal. Every director and producer who do these things deserve a heavy form of punishment. Why have them even there if their part is not substantial. Other than to draw in that specific audience who will check these titles especially if White and Dacascos are around.

As a Die Hard film it fails too. I didn't buy Flannery as this elite soldier taking out enemies left and right. Well, in one scene he did use Splinter Cell tactics to get by someone but other than that he barely gets hurt or is truly outnumbered. There is zero tension and there are zero thrills. I had no idea main baddie Adrian Rabikov was played by Weston Cage Coppola, the son of Nicolas Cage. While he wasn't bad he definitely was a caricature. Actually more of his goons were acting as if they were in some Die Hard parody. Brittany Underwood is the token bad ass woman who never does anything badass. For a brief second I though it was Shakira, it isn't, but especially with the way her hair was done she looks very much like her. In any case couldn't they have made her done some cruel or cool things so that there is a point to her?

Honestly this film is stupid. It's no fun at all, just aggravating especially since there are no redeeming elements to it. Avoid like the plague!

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