A cop who can be revived after death over and over again, basically the zombie version of Terminator. Sexy killer nuns (almost directly copied from video game Hitman: Absolution) and a Kung Fu master called Zen Master Flash who can teleport himself like Raiden and Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. Flashy visuals. Blood. Gore. Orgasm counter. You must admit that it sounds like a lot of fun right? Wrong! Even with the elements I just described the film will bore you to death.
How is this possible you might ask. Well, for one thing there is no story in the film. All of the characters are flat. You won't care for anyone. There are some attempts to make you connect to Officer Downe (Kim Coates) and Officer Gable (Tyler Ross). Especially Coates is doing his best to make the most of it. However he is let down in every way you can imagine. It's almost like he is the only one who sees what potential the film has. Real shame that despite him being the title figure he is not the main character. He is more someone who is talked about. We never learn about who he is from his perspective. How can we if there only are two or three scenes where we get to see him in action. He barely talks let alone have real dialogue. It is implied that he is suffering but nothing significant is done with this hence you don't get to experience the Robocop thrill ride that is promised. The action only on occasion is entertaining. And even then it's over before you know it. But I could have lived with these things had the film not taken itself so seriously. There are some moments that I am sure of that were supposed be comedic. Except they never are unless you are a horny teenager who gets a kick out of juvenile sex jokes. Maybe these teenagers are the intended audience and maybe they are the only ones who will be able to enjoy it. Thus far I have always found a way to enjoy films made for specific audiences providing the film offers more than that one gimmick. But this film fails to connect with me on every level. And that is real rare.
It's also not a good sign that the film was directed by Shawn Crahan member and co-founder of heavy metal band Slipknot who has very little experience. I wished they would stop doing this in the film bizz. Why would they give complicated projects like these to inexperienced directors? You need someone who is capable to handle the source material and translate it to the big screen. Only a handful of directors can and sorry to say Shawn Crahan is not one of them. With such a prominent heavy metal musician you would think that at least the soundtrack would offer something good. Now, I am not going to pretend to know anything about the genre but to me it sounded quite generic. Least I expected was a scene where the music would go in sync with the action giving the film that cinematic feel. Unfortunately there isn't a single scene or moment in this film that is particularly interesting or memorable. Although there is one highlight in the film that I should not forget to mention. Sam Witwer as Burnham. You probably know him as Aidan Waite in Being Human (US) and Starkiller in Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. In the few minutes he has he manages to bring that level of wit that is severely lacking this film.
Officer Downe is not worth your time in any shape or form. Unless you want to fall asleep desperately.
2 comments:
I won't bother with this one then. What a waste of a good idea.
Indeed. This could have been a killer movie.
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