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Review Jupiter Ascending (2015): You wished it was all a dream and you were back in The Matrix

genre: science fiction, action, adventure

The Wachowski brothers (brother and formerly brother now sister) were going strong with their Matrix franchise and V for Vendetta. Speed Racer never really got a break but I for one enjoyed that one thoroughly. I have seen Cloud Atlas but don't know what to make of it and will have to watch it again so that I can be fair. But with Jupiter Ascending they made a film that is so astonishingly bad and tedious that you begin to wonder if they have any talent at all. Visually the film is gorgeous and beautiful. No question about that. However everything else is wrong. The action scenes are too drawn out and badly choreographed. They never get truly exciting. There is almost no plot to speak of. Just a thin thread to weave the action scenes together. There are plenty of characters who looked like there was more to them but for some reason never get fleshed out well. You never really care for ANY of the characters on the screen. Except for the one that is played by Sean Bean. I instantly liked him but as always he is far too underused. Mila Kunis plays the most uninteresting damsel in distress ever put on screen and Channing Tatum is an even more uninteresting hero. Both of them lacked any chemistry and both of them looked like they were unaware of what was going on. They are the ones that have to convince us of the adventure they are experiencing and they fail miserably. Granted most of that has to do with the lack of thrilling plot but even so could they not have spiced up their roles a bit? Mila Kunis is supposed to play someone who is bored with her life. Or actually incredibly angry and who wants to get away from it all. All we get to see is her sighing and looking sad. If there was ever a role that screamed for her to have an attitude it was this one. I am not sure if this was her decision or the Wachowski's. Either way it's a bad choice. Jupiter Ascending has no redeeming factors. It is void of fun and even manages to make you angry at times. Do yourself a favour and never ever watch this one. You are better of watching Matrix Revolutions over and over again. Yes, it's that bad.

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